Teenage emotions?

Well I feel like crap. I was having an okay day. Then my guy friend left practice today and I just automatically felt crappy. Maybe it was also because the captain ordered me to another team with this guy who's sorta creepin' on me. Then I got stuck on teams with all the captains. I can't even think with them around. They'll probably just laugh at any of my ideas. Why even try?
Then there's the other kids in my grade there today. I don't like them...I mean, they're okay. But they don't show any kindness to me anymore. They don't try talking to me. Yeah, I don't try talking to them either, but it's different. Yeah, I sound hypocritical and I know it. I want to be accepted so badly, I want friends so badly, but I don't want to talk to anyone. I feel like I don't know how to. If people want to talk to you, they usually do. I've been around these people enough though too to know that we don't exactly click. I just don't want them involved in this thing, my nerdy deal. I want something of my own, you know? They're the people I'm supposed to get along with, the people with the most similar interests to me. But they're so different than me...why is it that I click with people sometimes, and not others? I feel like the people my age and older are always judging me, like I'm not good enough for them. But with the younger kids, it's better. But even then I still feel not good enough. 
No one pays attention to me. I don't want a ton of attention, but it just kills me when I'm sitting all alone and no one says a word to me, but right by me people will just gradually flock to a person like myself, just sitting alone, and they'll have all sorts of conversations. What's so wrong with me? I suppose my problem is that I think I have a problem.
I want to leave. I want to get out of this place so badly, but how's it going to be better anywhere else? I don't have the motivation or energy to start conversations. This place isn't for me. But so many people suffer when they're young. I want happiness though. I just don't know if it's worth the risk. I feel so alone all the time. I have some friends, some people I can talk to, but it's just waving in the halls. It's nothing real. It's killing me. How can I take years more of this?
I'm used to being alone. You think I'd get over it by now. I know that I'm not like everyone else, that I have different standards for friends than others, that I don't really fit in, I don't always act my age. But I know that one day someone will appreciate me for who I am. I'm dying waiting for them to come along. It's hard to keep hope, but it's all I have.
I had one person who I thought maybe understood me, but they're never there. I was tempted to try to talk to them, but I stopped myself. If I talked to them I'd be forgiving them for treating me like crap without even making them see what they'd done to me. I can't just brush that away. I don't want to get into it tonight though.
I don't know what's going to happen, I don't know how I'm going to make it through. I know every other teenager in the world feels miserable, but for some reason all the people around me seem to be doing just fine. Maybe they just accept it. I don't want to. I want to be strong, but at the same time...
I don't know. It'll work out though.