Well a lot, a lot, a lot has happened since I posted last. A lot is still up in the air and I don't think I'll have anything figured out for quite a while, but that's okay. The days ahead will be challenging in ways I can't even yet imagine, but I just hope and pray that it will be worth it.
The good thing though is that today was a good day. I read my speech for some of my newer friends and colleagues who complimented my abilities. It was to my amusement that when I read by speech to the group that in my feedback two ladies expressed how they turned to look at each other because they were so shocked with the content that I was reading. It was angry --- it was adult, it was real, it wasn't the me they were used to. I have to laugh at this. Maybe I can't identify to every line of the piece, but I certainly can relate. I certainly get quite angry. It's odd. The me that most people know is shy, sweet, smart, and innocent. I've been told many times, countless times, throughout my entire life by various people that they can't even imagine the idea of me being angry. The irony in this is that I'm always angry, it's hard to contain myself. I have a killer poker face though. It gets me through, but not much more. I love that through speech you can become something that you don't appear to other people --- yourself. I mean, you can take on other personalities as well. You make people wonder. It's fun.
I was told by a colleague that they consider me a friend. It didn't come as a surprise, but it's still great to hear. People don't talk to me often, and when I have light-hearted complimentary conversation, it fills me with joy.
Okay, I need to apologize for this tone now...I've been reading Frankenstein.
Have you ever noticed that people are either incredibly real or fake on the internet? Honestly most of my friends I've made or have become better friends with, due to the internet. You get a good idea of what people are like through it. I was shocked to hear that a colleague of mine who I'd never even really talked to before that I didn't particularly like, tell me that they thought I was exceptionally bright, kind, and they wished to get to know me more in the future. The way they worded it just really made me happy. It's been a day filled with compliments, how can one not be happy?!