So much to say, so little time

I'd love to just sit here and write for hours.
Writing is my passion. I haven't just sat down and written in weeks...I feel majorly deprived. I pulled up my largest scale in-progress novel that I hadn't looked at in months. I've decided to switch to a narrator rather than have first person. This will be a decent sized task to fix, but I'll enjoy every moment of it, because I love my characters so much. Writing is my escape.
I was really hoping I'd have time to write this weekend, but that never happened. I'm up later than I should be right now and I still haven't finished all the things I should. Ugh...there's always something more to do. There's always another assignment, another test, exam. And then if I somehow miraculously finished all of that, there's my countless novels to be written. There's the library books to read that are overdue. There are the books I've promised friends that I'd read. There's that new album by that band I want to listen to. There's that essay my friend sent me to edit. There's that friend you haven't talked to in weeks and you know probably would like to hear from you. There's laundry. There's those 20 manga series you read. There's that television show's new episode tonight....the list could go on and on. I always have all of these things on my mind, but tonight it's been bothering me more than usual.
There's been a lot on my mind, but I don't have time to talk about it all.
I'll try my best to try to catch up on my thoughts throughout the week.

Thinking Things over...:/

I'm considering leaving you as you are, just as I did with him. I was so convinced that I was in love with him. I knew he didn't love me though. I stopped trying to see if he would make an effort. He made none. We haven't spoken in months. That's just how it is. Occasionally I'll think of him. I don't miss him though. I don't miss being unappreciated. At the time I couldn't live without him, but now I am and I'm doing just fine.
I found you and thought that everything was alright once again, my friend, the guy that's there to listen to me. You have so many things in common with him, but you're so much better too. With him, I made all the effort. With you, you always make the first move. You're more of a man than he'll ever be even though you act more like a child than he.
Times have changed, looking back I see how much I've grown up and I know that I'll just keep growing. I'm not going to make the same mistakes that I made with him. Sometimes I wonder if you care, always breaking your promises. I know that's just how you are, but sometimes it hurts seeing the real you.
I don't know what I want. I almost want to be rid of you. You're not part of my here and now. You're far away, but I don't want to let you go. Who else do I have? I don't want to waste my time though. But I hate being alone. I want to be with you again, I want to hear the truth. I can handle it, I just need to know what it is, or what it was. I'm afraid your mind might or has changed. I'm not sure what I want to hear, but I want to hear something, so I can stop wondering, so I can make peace, let myself fall for you, or let you go. Right now it's all in your hands...I have little choice. If you let me go, it's your own fault due to your own errors.
I've come to accept that I never loved him, I had merely made an idol out of him. You're a hope, a somewhat attainable dream, a desire, a fantasy. I know I don't love you though. Back then I thought I was so in love, I felt so strongly for him, and now knowing that it was nothing near love, I can only imagine how forceful and life changing love really is and I look forward to the day I find it.