My Friend

I wanna scream! I'm not just losing some stupid guy, I'm losing one of my best friends --- the one who was there for me when no one else was!!!!! He loved me when I hated myself. Now he's just disappeared and I don't know why. I refuse to blame myself though, like I always do. I did absolutely nothing wrong. I feel like maybe I'm getting too worked up, but we had just gotten so far...he cared about me, he really did. Now he's just gone. He's always leaving me...he's to blame, I can't keep shoving all this under the mat.
Maybe I need this break from him to figure things out on my own, but he needed me too. What's he up to? What's going on with him right now? What's holding him from me? Why is everything such a mystery? I refuse to call anymore. I've tried. There's no use making a fool of myself. There's no use chasing someone who won't chase you back. He must have a reason. He must. And if he doesn't, well he's a fool, and it's just as well. I'll move on. I'll be alone again. I might have one less friend. I'll have the memories. I can't control him though. That's just the thing. If they love you, they'll make an effort.

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